Ed, Edd, n Eddy on Fleet Street
by Alex536rocks
Summary: London is beautiful, even the Ed's agree. But what happens when people who go up for a shave don't come down? Or the pies get better at the same time? An Ed, Edd, and Eddy and Sweeney Todd crossover.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: I don't own "Ed, Edd, n Eddy," or "Sweeney Todd," bet you already knew that though.**

Chapter One: "No place like London."

The Ed's would sit at school and be bored and Double D would sigh and said "Ah, history...wonder who or what, we're looking up today." Eddy frowning said, "Double D...shut up!" Mr. Jackson, their new teacher said, "Now, you will be studying Sweeney Todd. and you three boys, Ed, Double D, and Eddy..." "Yes sir," the Ed's muttered all at once. "You will," continued Mr. Jackson, "Give me a one hundred page essay tomorrow on Sweeney Todd, his history, his real name, and what he did in the year 1846."

* * *

After class Eddy said, "Sorry guys, me and my big mouth." Before we go on to the story, here's about the Ed's. Ed, who wasn't very bright, had a unibrow, or monowbrow as Eddy called it, he was 6ft tall even though being 13, and he had a green jacket. Double D wore a ski-hat with only three hairs sticking out, he wore a red tank-top, and he loved science...though very weak. And then last but ever to say not least, Eddy. Eddy wore a yellow shirt, had three hairs sticking on his head, and was the leader of the group. They all walked home and Eddy said, "Double D, why are we at your house." Double D smiled and said, "May I give you-MY TIME MACHINE!" Eddy's eyes went huge, he jumped in but ignored Double D who shouted, "NO I HAVEN'T TESTED IT YET! STOP! PLEASE! DESIST!" but when he got there the machine teleported them.

"Ed, did you push the button?" Double D asked. "Yes I did Double D," Ed responded. The Ed's, of course not head, face palmed. When the Ed's arrived they didn't have the time machine. "ED YOU IDIOT!" shouted Eddy angrily. "Why-did-you-press-the-button?" all the while Eddy was slapping Ed. Ed still smiling said, "I like chickens." The Ed's then saw the street and said to a man walking by, but all at once, "What year is it?" The man looked at the Ed's like they was loony and said, "BARKING MAD I TELL YOU! IT'S 1846, SO GO BEFORE I A'VE YOU COMMITED TO FOGG'S ASYLUM, YA HEAR?" The Ed's ran and Double D said, "No, not bedlam!"

* * *

Though the Ed's didn't know it, on a ship right now was Anthony Hope, and Sweeney Todd. Anthony was singing:

**Anthony: I have sailed the world, beheld it's wonders, from the Dardanelles, to the mountains of Peru, but there's no place like London.**

**?: No there's no place like London. **

The new singing voice was from a man known to Anthony. "Mr. Todd?" he asked. "You are young," the man presumably Mr. Todd said. "Life has been kind to you...**you will learn!**" the last part he sung. Then Mr. Todd continued.

**Todd: There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it, and it's morals aren't worth what a pit could spit and it goes by the name of. London.**

"Is everything alright Mr. Todd?" Anthony tried again. "I beg your indulgence Anthony, my mind is far from easy, in these once familiar streets I feel, shadows...Ghosts you could say." Then Anthony asked, "We will meet again?" Then Sweeney Todd continued saying, "You may find me on Fleet Street." Then Sweeney Todd walked as Anthony prepared to go back to his ship, and Sweeney was saying, "There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's fill with people who are filled with shit! And the vermin of the world inhabit it."

* * *

"EDDY! be careful, this is London. **There's no place like London**." Eddy annoyed asked, "Is he singing?" "Yes sir-e Eddy McGee," Ed responded.

**Double D: London is beautiful! And wonderful.**

Eddy decided to take the background, unaware that London goers (Including Sweeney Todd) was watching them sing.

**Double D: The elegance (It smells like rotten Eggs) It's chilly but I like it. (How could someone like it?)**

"Eddy," Double D said annoyed. "I'm singing the positives, not the negatives. People are watching aren't they." Eddy now turning red said "Um...yeah." Then a realization came over Eddy... "I'm hungry," is what he said. They then found a meat pie shop, unaware of the horror that would await them for several months.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: The Peach Creek kids find a portal/Meeting Mrs. Lovett

The Ed's leaving caused mass hysteria in their home at Peach Creek. People from that place were saying "The Ed's are gone?" Kevin found the portal and walked right into it. The other kids following suit.

* * *

Eddy was hungry and they found a place...the sign above the door said in big bold letters:

MRS. LOVETT'S MEAT PIES

Ed smiling like a dope said, "I love pies." When they walked in, they saw a creepy lady, she appeared to be chopping an onion. She finally noticed them. She smiled and asked, "Would you like a pie?" "Yes," the three Ed's said at once. Mrs. Lovett smiled, pulled out some pies from the oven, and blew dust, or whatever the white powder was, and said, "Here you go dearies." When the Ed's took a bite they had the worst taste in their mouths. Eddy spit it out with a loud "ACK!" Double D spit it into a napkin and threw it away. And Ed swallowed saying "Delicious." But the other Ed's were disturbed when a weird bug or, whatever it was came crawling out. Mrs. Lovett said, "These are the worst pies in London for you. But here's some Ale." The Ed's went for the cup and drank the entire thing. Eddy then said, "I'm sorry...I was born rude, but I appreciate you trying to help." Mrs. Lovett smiled, but the smile faded when she asked, "Do you have a home in London?"

Double D realizing said, "No...we don't." "Then you can live here," she responded, "Always wanted kids I did. But um..." her voice trailed off. "What is it malady?" asked Ed using proper grammar for once...he would always forget later though. "I would need to ask Mr. T," she responded. "Mr. T?" asked Double D. "Yeah, his full name is Sweeney Todd but, he would be infuriated if someone lived here. Hold on a second please." She went out the door and up the stairs. They heard voices, but finally Mrs. Lovett came down with a pale looking man who said, "These are the children?" "Yes Mr. T," Lovett responded. Sweeney smiling for once asked, "Would you like to see the Barbary?"

* * *

Kevin who went in first ended up in London, and saw a sailor walking. "Oh, hello boy," said the sailor. "Hey," Kevin responded. "What year is it?" Kevin asked. The sailor thought and said, "It's 1846." Kevin had one thought in his head and it was, _the dorks scam actually worked? _"Welcome to London, my name is Anthony...Anthony Hope." Kevin looking up from his thoughts said, "And I'm Kevin. It's a pleasure to meet a sailor."

* * *

Sweeney Todd showed the kids around and when Double D saw a picture he asked, "Who's that lady?" Mr. T turned and said with his expressionless face, "That was Lucy, my wife...until..." he stopped and told the kids to leave. The Ed's shrugged and went downstairs.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Poor Thing/Johanna

"So what happened to Todd's wife," asked Double D. Mrs. Lovett thought and started to sing:

**Lovett: There was a barber and his wife, and he was beautiful. A proper artist with a knife, but they transported him for life. And he was Beautiful.**

"Barker his name was," Lovett said, "Benjamin Barker." Double D all the while took notes and asked, "Then?" Then Lovett continued.

**Lovett: He had this wife you see, pretty little thing, silly little nit had a chance for the moon on a string, poor thing. Poor thing.**

Double D set the notes down realizing it gets personal. Mrs. Lovett instead of singing the next few lines said, "There was a judge, who would send her a flower, but Lucy never came down. One night Beadle Bamford goes to her saying the Judge is contrite. But he wasn't so contrite." "What does contrite mean?" Eddy asked. Double D then whispered, "It means sorry." "Oh, ok." Mrs. Lovett giggling, turned serious and sung the rest.

**Lovett: She wasn't no match for such craft you see, and everyone thought it so drull, they figured she had to be daft you see, so all of them stood there and laughed you see. Poor soul...Poor thing.**

Eddy who doesn't like songs said, "Your singing is beautiful madam." "Thank you love," she responded. Double D holding out both hands said, "That doesn't answer my question. What happened to his wife?" Mrs. Lovett thought again and said, "She poisoned herself, the apothecary around the corner...I tried to help her, but she wouldn't listen to me. But her daughter Johanna...e's got her." "He?" asked Eddy. "Yeah," Lovett responded, "Judge Turpin."

* * *

Kevin and Anthony walked through town and saw a big mansion, in the mansions window was a girl with beautiful hair. The two boys became entranced with her beauty, and a beggar woman came down to them asking, "Alms, alms, for a miserable woman?" Anthony handed her a coin, and she said, "Thank you sir, thank you." "Ma'am," asked Anthony. "Could you tell me who's house that is." "Oh," she responded. "How should I know who's house that is?" She was hiding something they could tell. But Kevin then asked, "Who's the girl who lives there?" The beggar was upset, but her hat hid that fact. She then continued saying, "That's pretty little Johanna. But I wouldn't go trespassing there...lest there be a good whipping for you, or any other young man, with mischief on his mind." She walked away again asking for money.

The kids were smiling at Johanna, as they walked away the door opened, and a man walked out saying, "Come in. Please." They nodded and walked in. The man gave a short scowl, but hid it smiling. He then went to slam the door, but right as it was about to hit the hinges, he slowed down as to not cause a commotion. Three other Peach Creek kids were at the house now. The kids were Johnny 2x4, who talks to a wooden board with a face on it. Rolf, a blue haired boy from the old country. And Nazz, a pretty girl who everyone gawks over.

"So this is the house apparently," Johnny said. He then leaned his head to the board and asked, "What's that buddy-Oh, ok. Guys Plank says this is the house." "Sure it does..." Nazz said a little worryingly. Then they heard the sound of two bodies slamming on the ground. They ran through a fence which went to the back door of the house, and saw a man with a cane say, "Just go from this house, take a right, then a left, and leave this bloody town!" He popped out the blade of his cane, here the kids thought the two would get it, but instead the man brought it down hard on both their backs. "KEVIN!" shouted Nazz. "STOP DUDE!" she shouted pushing the man with the cane. "OY!" he shouted. "I'm delivering some justice if you don't mind."

The man who is actually Beadle Bamford, flipped the cane, placed the handle on Anthony's head, and said, "Next time, it'll be your pretty little brains that will paint the cement," he put the cane on the ground and left. Or so the kids thought. The Beadle tossed the backpack, or suitcase bag on Anthony's back, right as he was getting up. "Are you alright Kevin?" Rolf asked. "Y-y-yeah," Kevin said bleeding a little out of his lip. "I-I'm alright." He tried to walk but fell. Rolf, and Nazz held up Kevin and helped him walk. Kevin was saying to himself, "All because my friend here Anthony stared at Johanna." Nazz knew it was an accident and said, "Come on dude. Just this way." "Yeah," Johnny said. "I'm pretty sure there's an eatery this way."

* * *

The Ed's were holding some papers and Eddy said, "Hey there's a guy named Pirelli who appears every week. He says he's the best barber in the world...MAYBE TODD CAN GO AGAINST HIM!" Sweeney nodded and, the other kids not noticing, caressed the shaving razor on his pocket. "Soon," he whispered. Then Kevin came in and Eddy said, "Kevin are you alright?" "Yeah, just got pummeled by some man." "Who?" asked Double D. Then Kevin trying to remember said, "The great Judge Turpin."

**Authors note: I was trying to make a mystery for you of who the man was. Hope your enjoying the story.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Pirelli's Elixir/The Contest

The Ed's walked through the festival while the kids were at the pie shop. Eddy was saying, "That's Kevin, Rolf, Nazz...all that's missing is Jimmy, Sarah, and...ugh! The Kanker sisters." "Eddy you forgot little Johnny," Ed said. Double D shocked said, "Yes indeed, that's true." Then a boy started singing on a stage.

**Boy: Ladies and gentlemen might I have your attention Please? Do you wake every morning in shame and despair to discover your pillow is covered with hair...or what not should be there...your about to see something what rose from the dead!**

Here Eddy gasped then giggled, causing Ed to say, "That's not funny Eddy."

**Boy: On the top of my head!**

He took of a hat and his hair was revealed to be a good shade of blonde. "What is this?" Eddy asked, "'Adventure Time?'" Mrs. Lovett confused asked, "Adventure what?" Eddy remembered it was the past and said cleverly, "Um, this story I'm writing." He smiled hoping no one would catch on. Double D listening said, "Sounds like a scam." "Indeed Sweeney," said. The Ed's looked and knew what he was saying. Ed was yelling, "YOUR A TELE-PHONY!" Double D looking scared at Ed's dead give away grabbed his mouth and said, "You mean phony Ed." Ed smiled saying, "I like telephony chickens." Eddy face-palmed.

**Boy: Your scared, Pirelli's usable and of it, ladies seem to love it!**

**Mrs. Lovett: Flies do too**

Then a man came running in saying, "Ladies and-a gentle-a men, I am Adolfo Pirelli...Who says my elixir is-a piss?" he asked in his Italian accent. "I do," Sweeney said. "I've opened a bottle of Pirelli's Elixir, and I say to you it's an arrant fraud. Now you all see these here razors?-" here everyone glanced at two razors he was showing. "-I place them against five pounds...you are no match sir. Either reveal yourself a sham, or accept." Pirelli stared for a long time, then smiled saying, "You here dis-a foolish-a man? You watch and see how he will-a regret-a his folly," while he was talking he spun his cloak over his head and threw it. Then he shouted, even scaring the Ed's, "TO-BY!" and I guess it left an impact seeing how he pounded a walking stick on the ground. And Sweeney asked one important question... "Who's for a free shave?"

* * *

Kevin was sitting down, and said, "Man, those dorks made something that works." "Yes, the three Ed boys have invented a time whatchamacallit," Rolf said agreeing. "Sorry about earlier Kevin," said Anthony walking in the room. Kevin looking sad said, "Non it's fine. It only hurts a tad bit."

Kevin then yawned and napped on the chair and had a peculiar dream that he was Mr. Todd. He was in a court room where Judge Turpin said, "You have been charged with killing another man in the barber's chair." "But-but I never harmed anyone! let me see Lucy!" "Your punishment," Turpin continued as if not even hearing Todd. "Is to be banished to Botany Bay in Australia for life..." Kevin wasn't Mr. Todd, he was Anthony's father...

Kevin woke up and the Ed's were back and were concerned, even the pale expressionless Sweeney Todd. "Are you alright boy?" asked Sweeney. "Yes," Kevin said. "It was just a nightmare." Sweeney seemed as if he was a million miles away, and looked ahead at the wall like he was staring at nothing.

**Authors note: I don't own adventure time, and be ready for death in the next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Pirelli's return/the chair

It was about a day later. The Ed's were cleaning the tables as if business at the pie shop was booming, then- "Is Mr.-a Sweeney Todd here?" Eddy looked and saw Pirelli and was about to tell him to go when he saw Toby, with scratches all over his face. Toby mouthed the words, "Just go with it," and he remembered after Pirelli won.

* * *

This was how Eddy's memory played out:

_"I bow to a skill far-a more defter than my own" Pirelli said annoyed. "The five pounds," Sweeney said motioning his hands toward Pirelli. Pirelli unwillingly gave him what looked like five dollars. "May the good lord smile upon you...now come-a boy," and as he turned around he slapped Toby across the face and kicked him into the trailer. Eddy saying, "What the?" and Double D staring speechless. And they heard slaps and Pirelli cursing in Italian._

* * *

"Oh poor boy," Lovett said. "Sir, would you mind me giving him a pie-" but as she asked Pirelli impatiently said, "Si, si, whatever." "He's Spanish?" Eddy whispered. "I thought he was Italian." "You see Eddy," Double D responded. "Italians also speak Spanish." Then they walked into the pie shop, Pirelli scowled only Ed noticing and said to him, "What are you-a looking-a at?" "A big jerk," Ed said sticking his tongue out. Pirelli rolled his eyes and walked up the stairs. He was wearing the blue suit he had on yesterday, his top hat, and a cloak which looked this time like a snow leopards.

Inside Mrs. Lovett said, "Boy have a pie." "Thank you ma'am...and me name's Toby." He then scarfed down the pie. Johnny saw him and said, "What's that plank-my relative-HOWDY RELATIVE!" Toby scared asked, "Do I know you?" Johnny then said, "My name is Johnny 2x4." Toby gasped and said, "My last names 2x4. Cousin!" They hugged and Lovett said, "I won't raise Johnny, but I'll raise you Toby." She then whispered to herself, "That Johnny' will scare my customers away. Who am I kidding I don't a've any customers. Then a clanging noise was heard, it hit the floor ten times and Toby looked up saying "What the?"

* * *

At the same time Pirelli revealed he knew Sweeney, so Todd did what he could to avoid being arrested again...he grabbed a teapot and bashed Pirelli across the face, then right on the forehead. Pirelli dazed and dizzy fell backwards, and Todd went swinging at him crazily. He then sat down in the chair. The Ed's came upstairs, along with Toby. "SIGNORE! YOUR APPOINT-ment?" Toby came up looking for Pirelli but couldn't see him. Sweeney holding the teapot poured himself tea saying, "Signore Pirelli's been called away, you better run after him." "No, I can't I have to wait here," Toby said. Sweeney thought and said, "What if I told you Mrs. Lovett can give you a nice tot of gin?"

"Gin sir?! Thank you sir!" Toby shouted running downstairs and Double D shouting, "TOBY NO! YOUR TOO YOUNG TO DRINK!" Sweeney noticed in all the commotion that outside the trunk he stuffed Pirelli in, the finger was still moving. Sweeny went to the trunk and picked up the lid. Pirelli tried pulling himself up making a creepy rasping noise, like somebody who never learned to breath, or the undead coming back to the world. Sweeney unfolded his razor, and slid it across Pirelli's neck. People who would see Sweeney now would see blood covering his right sleeve.

* * *

Later that day Judge Turpin came in to get a shave, but several minutes later he left. To the Ed's it was just work, and business.

Later that night Sweeney built a chair and tested it, he stuffed Pirelli on to it, hit a switch on the floor, and the chair rose, while the floor opened, and Pirelli was tossed down with a sickening crack heard at the bottom. He smiled at Mrs. Lovett who was helping him and said, "This is a chair fit for a king." "And just think," Lovett said now. "We can make better tasting pies." Lovett and Sweeney laughed at their own sick joke. Then Lovett knocked on the Ed's door asking where the other kids were. Then Double D said, "Well, Kevin, and Rolf, and Nazz are staying on Anthony's ship. Whilst Johnny is sleeping on the couch...was considering the bake house-" But after saying that Lovett screamed "NO!"

Eddy hid with Ed in a corner. "Sorry dearies," she said knowing the trapdoor led to the bake house. "There's um...some trouble with rats, and you wouldn't want to start a disease again...I'll handle it. G'night." The Ed's comfy and liking Mrs. Lovett said, "Goodnight." Lovett smiled one last time and went downstairs. For the next week, the Ed's were serving delicious pies, but were suspicious how most who went up to get a shave didn't come back down...but the Ed's would shrug, eat a pie, and head to work again. Johnny ended up wandering accidentally to the Judges house, and now he's in Fog's Asylum. But knowing this story is about the Ed's they get him out...but that won't happen until later.

**Authors note: Wow, halfway through and I've been working on this one for 2 days...oh well. I don't own Sweeney Todd, or Ed, Edd, and Eddy. I know you already know that, but oh well...have a good day.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: A plan gone wrong/"God That's Good!"

**Authors note: Sorry I haven't posted in a few days, but here it is.**

In the morning of London the Ed's were walking and heard Anthony say to them, "Johanna will marry me today! The coach is coming in half an hour!" Before the pies got better, the Ed's and the other Peach Creek friends followed him. But they then saw a powerful looking man have Beadle Bamford shove a young woman into a coach. "WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HER?!" Anthony asked at a shout. "YOU'LL TELL ME, OR I'LL-" but Judge Turpin interrupted yelling, "YOU TELL ME BOY! HERE I STAND!" The Ed's knew the plan went wrong, and Anthony ran after Johanna yelling "JOHANNA!"

The Ed's stood in the pie shop. They heard the happy customers eating the pies, then a few people arrived, who turned out to be- "OUR PARENTS?!" asked the Ed's. "Yep, that's right." Then Eddy's brother arrived giving him and the other kids an evil smile which said, "Do as I say, or I'll pound ya!" Meanwhile Mrs. Lovett was singing.

**Lovett: Hello dearie how a've you been keeping, cor me bones is weary, Toby one for the gentlemen. Hear the birdies chirping, helps to keep it cheery. Toby, throw the old woman out!**

Everyone saw Toby use a cleaning rag to bat away a creepy looking woman in a hat in which covered her eyes. Mrs. Lovett said, "Come again tomorrow-" but then she heard Eddy's brother say, "I'm going to go get a shave for my girl." As the brother walked up the stairs Lovett was saying, "-Bless my eyes-" they heard Sweeney ring a bell and say, "Right this way sir." "-Fresh supplies," Lovett continued. She then sung the rest.

**Lovett: How about another pie? (A pie fit for a king) Toby, God watches over us...Toby, THROW THE OLD WOMAN OUT!" **

The Ed's jumped up and saw the creepy woman yet again, "No, you a've got to listen to me," the lady was saying in a voice which sounded creepier than she looked. "The pies are really made out of-" but at the same time they closed the door, uninterested in the important thing she had to say.

* * *

You see, when someone dies in the Barbary, it would happen like this: (Note: Not very scary, but if you've seen the film, you know where I'm going with this)

Sweeney would have someone sit, in a chair and he would put the shaving lather on the person in the chair. Then slit the mans throat, and drop them down the trapdoor, which threw them headfirst and would usually make an eerie noise when they land. After the 3rd person tonight, Sweeney picked up a picture of a blond woman with a baby. "Lucy...I'm so sorry," he was saying while placing his hand on the picture. Then Sweeney gave one of his world famous, scare you silly smiles and said to his razor, "I told you, you'd drip precious rubies...my friend." Though Mrs. Lovett baked the pies out of the victims, the kids would find out, in one of the creepiest way's imaginable.


End file.
